Images and Sounds

All it takes is a familiar image or a recognisable sound, and I am once again, even if it is just for a brief moment, transported back into the pensive of my past. Smiles that I long to see, presence that I yearn for. But the whirling and hurling back of the present would slam me again at breakneck speed, and I am jolted again with an extremely rude awakening of my present situation, which flees all too soon. Familiar images. Recognisable sounds. And I am suspended in my experience in time: filled with too many memories and longings from my past, bursting, colouring and destroying my present, while at the same time, defining my future. I am all together all at once my past, my present and my future. And in the midst of this confusing concoction I have no escape and no relief from the never-ending solidarity that plagues my existence. And yet I am forced to move on without really knowing how. And perhaps to ask “how” is to start with the wrong premise. Perhaps, the better and the more “narrative” question, is to ask the question “who”. Who are you, whom have so encapsulated and possessed me, and changed me that I no longer can recognise myself? Such is the product of extreme encounters – that I would wake up one morning and realise that I am changed. And as I sit by the clear, blue waters and watch the reflections of the rocks on its surface, with the light of the evening gleaning across the horizon, I remember you. And I remember your smiles and the images that we have created together, forever engraved in me. Tears rolled down my cheeks because I long to once again hold you and feel you with me, but I have been deprived of your physical presence, your beautiful existence. And yet, I still hold you in my heart, albeit from afar. The only hope that I have is that I will once again have the joy to see your eyes light up as your greet me with extended arms. And with that hope, I stand up, smile and walk away.

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Uncertainties

In anything we choose to do, there will always be risks, rewards and losses; and there are no certainties. The best that we can do is to be wise, to work through the conflicts between our hearts and minds, and learn how to let our souls dance by taking chances. You live only once! Don’t waste it by always trying to come to certainty, because there will always be doubt in everything.

You have moved my soul to dance and awakened it with your whispers. Now the sky is more beautiful to be gazed upon, and the earth is warmer with your laugh.

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